please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
