That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
