I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
