I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
