She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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