My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
