Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
