think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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