At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i think i have two assholes
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
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