I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
