All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
