Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
