Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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