Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
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