so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
