i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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