good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
