then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
