they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
