ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
