so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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