i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I will die if light touches me.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
