Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
