so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
