super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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