i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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