drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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