The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
