Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
