somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
