I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
