I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
no you cant smoke seaweed
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
