You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize