Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Actions speak louder than pants.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I just found a bag of teeth...
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Randomize
