God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
