You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
