I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
