I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize