She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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