how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I think your dad took our porno
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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