I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
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