Three words: puerto rican gang bang
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
