i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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