If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
