Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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