Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
