I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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