Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize