He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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