My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Randomize
