I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
