Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
i believe in u and ur pee
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
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