i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Who wears a wallet chain?!
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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