Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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