I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
