Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
