Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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