you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
