Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
