Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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