I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
