Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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