In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize